Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
