So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
