What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
