I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
