i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Of course I have a pirate flag
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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