At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
