I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
