She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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