think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
