i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
