$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
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her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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