She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
