Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
birth control should be required to get into college
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
