im drinking this country out of the recession.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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