he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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