He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
