i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I smell like Dick and happiness
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
