my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
