Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the day after is always just damage control
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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