id be glad to
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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