Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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