I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
