If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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