.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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