I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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