the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
