she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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