I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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