U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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