Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
false alarm. still invincible.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
