I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
