Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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