I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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