no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
