The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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