Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize