Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Come on in and take your pants off
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