its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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