My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
