am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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