doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
