Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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