The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
