if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
