how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
