He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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