i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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