why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
