I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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