Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
