It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
