your thong is hanging out like whoa
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
