went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize