I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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