Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
