Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
