I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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