dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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