got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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