we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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