i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
is that a dick in a sweater?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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